Denial
by Izzu
Summary: Ultraman Orb. Ep 25-centric. It wasn't as if he considered himself a hero type.


"If not because of you, I would not be alive right now."

"Come... get up!"

He looked up towards the woman. For a brief second, her silhouette was replaced with that of Gai's—from when he first met him... long ago in a far-off land. During a time when they used to be fighting on the same side. His mind somehow wandered back towards those times...

For all the long years he had known Gai, there was something that he could _never_ understand. How could the man continue holding on to his idealistic beliefs; still being kind and gentle and _naive_ , despite the odds placed before them? Despite the harsh realities that wouldn't allow such _naivete_ to persist? Even when his kindness and generosities were ill-placed, even when his kind gestures were taken in vain... even when his body were torn to pieces, how could Gai keep on rushing forward, blindly fighting for a cause he believed in?

He remembered the many times Gai had overestimated his own abilities and him rushing over to save his friend. Or more like shouting on top of his lungs half the time, telling him to rethink of his actions to better defeat the enemies. He remembered the many times Gai ended up being hurt because of his reckless approach to battle. How he never thought of his own well-being before rushing again towards another battle. How easily he would _offer himself_ to help, even when it wasn't _necessary_ for them to do so. He always couldn't understand that. Why did he have to go so far for people he barely even _knew_?

 _But perhaps that was the reason why Gai was chosen by the light, instead of him_. Juggler sighed. Because Gai was _stupider_ than him.

He tried so hard to not recall _that_ memory. He didn't want to remember it. He didn't want to admit that it happened. That _rejection_ still felt so painful as if it happened just yesterday.

Juggler recalled the few times Gai ended up hurting badly because of his _selfless_ act of wanting to save people from harm. He remembered watching over his 'friend' as Gai continued moving forward, pretending that he wasn't hurt badly. And trying so hard to convince the people around him that he was well. He remembered thinking the many times Gai could have easily died if he wasn't there to watch his friend's back.

 _How could that be... true strength?_

But perhaps in truth, those 'weak' ideals were not _too_ bad. Perhaps the reason that he _instinctually_ saved that woman named Natasha, was because he didn't want Gai to be hurt. Perhaps the reason he got annoyed of Gai's music was because it reminded him of _a lie_ he kept from his friend all these years. Perhaps the reason he seemed drawn towards Naomi, too, because she was able to see something in him that he couldn't see. The thing that perhaps, he desperately wanted to seek too...

Or maybe not. But still, there _was_ something about the girl that reminded him of something. Something that he had _completely_ forgotten.

Juggler begrudgingly grabbed Naomi's hand as he pulled himself up. He looked up, as he watched Gai—Ultraman Orb—having difficulty in fighting Magata no Orochi by himself. He snorted.

 _In the end, do you still needed me to watch over your silly back? Eh... Gai? Even when you used to be so stubborn to even want to listen to my words of caution?_

Not wanting to dwell on it any longer, Juggler gathered his strengths to make himself grew big...

xxx

With just one slash, he managed to stop Magata no Orochi from delivering the final blow. The building behind it was cut into two, but the kaiju didn't seem hurt too badly. Still, it was enough to push it aback. Gai should've known better that he needed to improve his swordsmanship. Who was the one holding the holy sword? Not him! Why couldn't the _idiot_ do the same thing he just did? Stupid! Were all those sword training he used to give Gai all in vain? Didn't he even _learn_ anything from them ever since then?

For some reason, he could feel Gai's eyes from behind his back. _Now, now... don't get mushy on me. It's not as if I wanted to save your butt so badly!_

Juggler held out his hand towards Orb without looking. It took a long moment before he could feel the other hand finally grasping his own as the other person rose up to their feet. He continued staring towards the opponent kaiju in front of him, wildly aware of a growing emotion inside of him that he haven't felt for a very long time.

Even if he hadn't originally planned for things to turn out this way, he had to admit fighting alongside Gai gave him a sense of thrill again. Such a nostalgic feeling... something he never thought he could _feel_ again.

But hell no, he won't ever let Gai know his true feelings! He would never so willingly signed in on this 'hero' business!

* * *

I made a slight editing. Because that's what watching Origin Saga too much give you.


End file.
